Jennifer Plesko

One of my favorite shows has returned to TV for the fall: So You Think You Can Dance. The fans refer to it as SYTYCD, which is kind of reminiscent of the old NKOTB acronym, IMHO.

I’ve been a dancer most of my life, so I love the show for its stunning choreography and innovative performances. However, I also enjoy the highly lampoonable judges and their commentary. It adds to the whole experience. For those who don’t watch the show, I’ll show you what I mean.

Typical commentary following a performance…

Cat Deeley: Wonderful job, guys. Let’s see what our judges have to say. Lil C?

Lil C: Dance is like a voyage, and this show is a pilgrimage to the spacious parameters of that voyage. It’s an education. And I want you to matriculate yourselves into the splendiferous university of operativeness. Your movement was like a journey that took us on the pulchritudinous path of pure perfectness. And I love that.

Cat Deeley: [smiling really big] Wow. I have no idea what you just said. Mary?

Mary: You know, last week your routine just didn’t work for me. You guys weren’t sinking into the floor, you were sloppy, the stage presence wasn’t there. And did you listen to the feedback we gave you for this week?

[...dramatic pause]

YES YOU DID BECAUSE THAT WAS INCREDIBLE! You killed it! WOOOOO!!!!! Guys, I gotta tell ya. The paso doble is so incredibly hard to pull off and, doggone it, you nailed it! Yes you did! Do I think you could’ve been a little sharper? Yes I do. But, oh my goodness, it was HOT! Yes it was! You were on FIRE! Somebody call the fire department because you burned the house down! You have just earned yourselves two tickets on the hot tamale train!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!*[here is where I mute it]

[Nigel unplugs his ears, and it's my cue to unmute]

Nigel: Well I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it didn’t work so much for me. [audience boos] Alright. Quiet down. Look, this show is supposed to make them better dancers. You were a bit too floaty. This is a strong dance. I need boy dancers to be strong and masculine. And, you darling, it was fairly clear you didn’t trust your partner and we could see that. But you did have beautiful lines.

As token British judges go, Nigel is a good one. He has to play the bad guy because he’s British. But he gives constructive criticism unlike good old Simon Cowell who just wants to crush dreams and make babies cry.

I love it when Mia Michaels choreographs a routine because she is really a fabulous choreographer. One of the best. But as a judge, she’s a bit of a hot mess. I think she and Paula Abdul might share the same pharmacist. Plus, you would’ve had to have been on something to say to Brandon Bryant last season “You annoy the BLEEP out of me…everyone keeps saying there’s talent there…but i just don’t see it!!” Brandon went on to be in the top four. Also, she scares me. Please don’t cut me, Mia.

The wide array of talent and unpredictability of the show is what makes it exciting, moreso than every other reality talent show out there. It’s a resplendent exhibition of the spiritualistic virtuosity of danceology.