reunion
It is often true that families only get together at weddings and funerals. This was the case with our family a couple of weeks ago. My uncle lost his battle with pancreatic cancer. We had already planned a trip to see him when we heard his time was growing short, but we didn’t get there in time. Instead, we got there for the visitation and funeral.
I don’t get to spend a lot of time with my extended family. When I was a child, my grandparents, my dad, and his two brothers and their families all lived in fairly close proximity. So we were all together for Thanksgiving and Christmas and family picnics in April. Then around the time the children started to hit adolescence, everyone scattered to the winds. So I still viewed my extended family based on the perception of a twelve-year-old. This time, I was able to observe these people and learn who they are all over again. And I came to a realization: I have a truly amazing family.
My Aunt Pat is one great lady. She had just lost her husband of over forty years, and yet she was the glue holding everything together. She gave a warm reception to every single guest at the visitation and funeral, she was comforting her brothers-in-law, she was busy making sure everyone was okay, and she was doing it all with a positive attitude and a great sense of humor.
My cousins have all grown into intelligent, successful people with families of their own. They’re caring and considerate, and they make wonderful parents and spouses. It makes me smile to think that these are the same people I roughhoused with in the living room of my grandparents’ house.
I even learned more about my uncle. Uncle Larry was much like my grandfather: tall, stoic, a quiet strength, a commanding presence. A retired chemical engineer, he was a logical man who muted his emotions. You could always tell he was thinking, you just didn’t know quite how he felt about it. That is why it shocked us all when we found a document he’d written ten years ago called “A Memo to Myself about 1998.”
1998 was a big year in his life for many reasons - two of his children were married, he was facing retirement, and my grandfather was diagnosed and quickly died from bone cancer. I suppose that is why he took the time to reflect on all of these highs and lows and what he learned from all of them. But what he may not have anticipated was what a gift it was to his family. He was such a private person that even his wife was surprised at how emotional it was. I learned that this was a man of incredible faith who loved deeply. And that was pretty cool.
After the funeral, the family all gathered at the house to spend some time together. There was a lot of love there that day. Although we were there under difficult circumstances, there was joy and hope and we were celebrating the life of a great man. He spent his final days thanking God for what a great life he’s had. That is why I feel so fortunate to be a part of this family.