Jennifer Plesko

Remember those Citibank commercials from a couple of years ago with the identity theft victims?

Recently, that scenario happened to my dad. Picture a big, burly, 60-year-old guy in flannel ordering hundreds of dollars in Hydroderm products. Only, the chick who stole my dad’s identity? She neglected to send the products to herself.

Imagine his surprise when he received two boxes filled with a bottle of under-eye serum, two bottles of cellulite cream, a bottle of microbead exfoliant, and a full-on age-defying wrinkle system. After figuring out what happened and clearing up the situation, he offered to send the products back to Hydroderm. They said “keep it.” And I said “awesome!”

So I sorted through the swag and took the under-eye serum and the cellulite cream. What? It’s almost swimsuit season. I gave my mom the wrinkle system. She acted offended, but deep down I think she totally appreciated it. In her gratitude, she gave me the exfoliant.

So, thank you, stupid criminal. Thanks to you, my thighs will be cellulite free in 60 days.