that’s what friends are for
Dear Readers:
It has been brought to my attention that certain friends are in the process of trying to get knocked up. Since said friends are among my last remaining friends that are sans children, this completely freaks me out concerns me.
I am worried that said friends must be getting bored and, rather than get knocked up, they are actually in need of a good hobby. After all, I don’t think said friends realize that babies are forever. They poop and cry and scream and turn into teenagers who hate you.
So, because I am such a good friend, I have decided to provide them with ideas for exciting pastimes so as to dissuade them from their current form of recreation.
Tandem Bike Riding
Traveling
Windsurfing
Going on Safari
Skydiving
Instead, if you continue on this course of action, you will be faced with:
or
or maybe even
Please think it over. Should you change your mind, I have an open invitation to scale El Capitan or possibly even run with the bulls in Pamplona.
Sincerely,
The Introvert
July 17th, 2008 at 8:53 am
Awesome! Gives me reassurance once again that I am going to wait till I’m 37 to have kids or until the last second my biological clock ticks. My mom is going to have heart palpitations because I’m not shooting out any kids any time soon, but she will have to have patience.
Peace out,
Val
July 17th, 2008 at 11:50 am
Oh. My. That last one. I hope it’s shaving cream or something equally harmless. Say it’s not oil-based primer. Say it’s not.
July 17th, 2008 at 1:22 pm
Val - I can always count on you
You realize this means you have to move up here?
All Adither - Primer was my first guess too. Makes you want to cry, doesn’t it? P.S. Welcome!
July 24th, 2008 at 1:40 am
Hahahahaha!!! This was a great entry, I loved it!!